


blood on my hands.

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Dark subjects, Gen, Irondad, May Parker (Spider-Man) & Tony Stark Coparenting Peter Parker, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, One Shot, Short, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, except ben lol, intended lowercase, may found out, no ones dead, overall fluffy, spiderman - Freeform, spiderson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 08:09:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19058677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: give me all the things we're afraid to talk about.i've been waiting for my heart to break.i've got this blood on my hands.





	blood on my hands.

**Author's Note:**

> hello! the song used in the summary is 'blood on my hands' by AUGUST 08 (feat. smino) i do not own it in any way, shape, or form! :)

when tony got a text, an invite to the parker residence by none other than may parker herself, he immediately is nervous.

the first reason being, it's been two weeks since she found out about spider-man, leading to angry calls, excessive finger pointing, and shouting at tony until he was sure his eardrums popped.

secondly, she invited him over during school hours. meaning peter wouldn't be there to be a buffer between him and may. conversations about spider-man around peter always made may more calm speaking about it, rather than when she talked to tony alone.

despite the reasons, tony knew there was no other option then to go.

that being said, he cleared his meetings, gave pepper a kiss, and sent out a silent prayer to whatever deity could hear him before he knocked carefully at the apartment door. he shuffled with the cuffs of the sleeves on his hoodie, building up his usual air of confidence.

he tried to dress more casual, knowing may wasn't a big fan of how the media perceived him, he hoped that dressing like this showed that he wasn't some arrogant playboy that did nothing useful with his money.

the door was opened a matter of seconds later, revealing may parker, her gaze sharp, hair pulled into a bun with loose strands framing her face, and wiping her hands with a towel. 

tony was not one to be jittery or nervous, but  _damn_ , how could he not be under such a powerful glare?  _the things i do for this kid_ , he thought to himself before straightening his posture.

she nodded towards him curtly, stepping aside to give tony a silent invitation to come in.

"hello, may." he greeted, plastering a smile onto his face before stepping inside. he loved being in the apartment. everything about it screamed  _home._

there was traces of peter everywhere- his torn up sneakers kicked lazily by the entrance, a note on the fridge telling may to have a great day scrawled in his handwriting, his incomplete science project propped on the side of the sofa, and his ratty jacket strewn across a chair. 

tony subconsciously smiled, letting the tension in his shoulders drop, feeling less nervous at the thought that peter was here in a way.

the door shut softly behind him and may took several strides to make her way to the kitchen. "come on, i made coffee." she uttered, chair screeching against the floor as she pulled it from under the table and gracefully sat.

tony smiled softly, as he followed suit in the chair across from her, sitting in the seat with peter's jacket hung on the back. he leaned into the piece of clothing, finding comfort in it as he held the warm mug between his fingers.

may took a long sip from her cup before she sat up straight. the sun that shone through the window created an orange hue on her face, showing off the dark bags under her hazel eyes, signaling how sleep deprived she probably was right now. tony couldn't help the pang of guilt that shot through his chest.

"to start this off, i am sorry." she relented, taking tony by surprise as he placed his cup down.

"i yelled before thinking and let my anger get the best of me. i was scared and didn't know what to do so i turned to anger, and i really am sorry." she concluded, a genuine look on her face as she offered a tired half smile.

"you really do not have to apologize, may. i get it. please don't feel like you did anything wrong." he smiled back reassuringly, a weight felt like it got lifted off his chest.

her smile looked more relieved after that as she took another sip from her cup.

"secondly, i need you to know that i love peter so much and i would do _anything_ to protect him." she asserted seriously. "the thought of him getting hurt i...that can't happen, tony." she gripped the handle of her mug tightly.

tony knew better than anyone else. he always replayed footage from peter's monitor, finding out how he got hurt and how to upgrade the suit accordingly.

"i understand, trust me i  _really_ understand. the thought of him going out there every night still makes my heart do a back flip despite how long he's been doing it and how well he does at it." he admitted quietly, tracing invisible circles into the side of his cup.

tony felt his heart race and his blood rushed in his ears. sometimes watching peter jump off his balcony in the spider-man suit without having an absolute answer of whether or not he'll come back was as scary as it was the first time.

"i can't promise you he won't get hurt, but i can promise you that i do  _everything_ in my control to make sure that it doesn't happen. from protocols, to trackers, to his own personal A.I, peter is in good hands. i swear to you, may" he claimed truthfully.

may let out a long sigh.

for a minute or two, it was silence. not awkward, just comfortable silence as the two sipped their coffees and basked in the sun's heat.

 

"i'll never forget when peter came home on the night ben died." she lamented.

tony instantly sat up straighter.  _oh shit._

"there was...there was blood on his hands, soaking his palms, his sweater, and some of his jeans. it was crusted into his hair, tony, i..." she trailed off with a shiver, as if remembering how he looked.

tony felt like he was supposed to be covering his ears. like he wasn't supposed to hear this.

"his face was so blank, he wasn't even crying. he was just...there. he tuned everything out completely." she murmured listlessly.

tony knew exactly what she meant. there were days when peter was there physically, but not mentally. he would just stare straight ahead and go on autopilot.

"for weeks afterwards i would hear him get up at like 2 or 3am and he would just stand there and scrub at his hands until they were red, and when i asked him why, he told he that he  _just couldn't get the blood off his hands._ " 

tony felt his heart break, hating how much peter had to go through. he already knew about what happened to ben, but hearing may describe the aftermath just went to show the trauma that this teenager already has gone through at such a young age.

''i never want to see him like that again, tony. whether it be his own blood or another civillian's blood, i can't, tony." she finished wearily.

tony sucked in a large breath, tightening his hands so they wouldn't shake. "i know, may.  _i know._ and i do everything i can to make sure that he never does. sometimes i don't even  _let_ him leave the tower to go spider-manning because my anxiety is especially high that night. i am constantly watching the monitor in his suit to make sure he doesn't get hurt, and i have a set curfew and-" his excessive rambling was cut off by a snort from may.

tony froze as he glanced at may's bittersweet smile.

"you really love him, huh?"

tony's lips curled up. it was such a loaded question with such a simple answer. 

"yeah-

yeah, i do."


End file.
